A Reflection on Belonging

Bev and I are blessed to count Devon & Pearlene Clunis as friends. They are both published authors and Devon is recognized as the first Black Police Chief in Canada. We are delighted that Devon has given his blessing for us to publish his monthly newsletter. .

🕊️ Opening Reflection

Who is responsible for my sense of belonging? I often find myself reflecting on a quieter, more foundational human need: belonging. We spend so much of our lives searching for it, hoping to find the place, the job, the community where we finally feel we fit in. But what if the question isn’t “where do I belong?” but “who decides that I do?” In this newsletter, I want to share a personal journey with that question, and explore the surprising answer I’ve found.

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Belonging Is a Decision, Not a Gift

For much of my early career, I, like many, viewed belonging as something granted by others. A welcoming smile, an inclusive word, a seat at the table, these were the validations I sought. And I was fortunate to receive them. When I joined the Winnipeg Police Service as one of the first Black officers, I carried no sense of being an outsider. I knew I had earned my place. I passed every test. I was selected. My qualifications were as solid as anyone’s in my recruit class. I kept a low profile in the academy, but I never felt a whisper of doubt that I didn’t belong. During field training, my fellow officers and especially my training officer made me feel overwhelmingly welcome. I belonged.

I will say, though, that when I later rose to the rank of Inspector, a new, subtle doubt crept in. I wondered if my “shade of beautiful,” as I like to call it, might now be seen as a liability. Did my colleagues think I had been promoted simply to fill a quota? That fleeting insecurity evaporated the moment I walked into my first Senior Officers meeting and was met with a warmth that was both genuine and immediate. I belonged.

And when I was selected as Chief of Police in 2012, I didn’t pause to question if I belonged. My purpose had eclipsed my position. I was there to build a new paradigm for community safety. I wasn’t there to be accepted; I was there to serve. And that made all the difference.

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When “Belonging” Gets Uncomfortable

Of course, living out your purpose doesn’t mean everyone will immediately understand it. When I began speaking about shifting from traditional, reactive policing to a create a new paradigm for community safety and well-being, some people voiced their displeasure. They didn’t get it.

In the past, I might have interpreted this resistance as a rejection of me. A signal that I had overstepped and no longer belonged at the table. But I had learned a crucial lesson. Their discomfort wasn’t a statement about my belonging. It was a statement about their need to understand and it was a gap in perspective. So, we focused on creating understanding. We talked, we listened, we showed them the vision. And in time, they embraced it. Citizens and officers alike came to champion this new philosophy, which ultimately led to significant crime reduction and a rise in community cohesion, all at no additional cost. The philosophy proved it belonged in policing. And my place was never in question, because I had stopped seeking permission to be there.

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Building a Practice of Owning Your Place

Belonging, like leadership and kindness, is a practice. It’s a muscle we build by choosing our purpose over our fears. Here’s how we can cultivate a deep, unshakeable sense of it within ourselves:

1. Separate Resistance from Rejection
When someone questions your idea, your perspective, or your presence, pause. Ask yourself: Are they rejecting me, or are they struggling to understand a new idea? Most often, it is the latter. Don’t internalize their confusion as your exclusion.

2. Anchor Yourself in Purpose, Not Popularity
Why are you in the room? If your goal is simply to be liked or accepted, your sense of belonging will always be fragile, at the mercy of others’ moods. But if your goal is to contribute, to serve a purpose larger than yourself, then your belonging is rooted in something no one can take away. My purpose was never to be “the Black Chief,” but to be the Chief who helped build a safer city. That purpose was my anchor.

3. Extend the Grace of Understanding to Others
Just as we wish to be understood, we must strive to understand. When faced with someone who doesn’t “get it,” resist the urge to label them. Instead, see them as someone on their own journey. It simply takes time to create understanding that shifts perspectives. This is our time to do just that.

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Your Belonging Matters

This March, as the world around us begins to thaw and awaken, let’s stop searching for a place to belong and start recognizing the place we already stand.

✅ Redefine a Past Experience
Think of a time you felt you didn’t belong. Was it truly a rejection, or was it simply a moment where understanding was missing, from them or from you? How does this new perspective change the memory?

✅ Identify Your Anchor
What is your purpose in your key roles at work, at home, in your community? Write it down. When doubt creeps in, return to this anchor. Let it remind you why you are exactly where you need to be.

✅ Be a Bridge, Not a Judge
This week, seek out a perspective you don’t yet understand. Instead of judging it, ask questions with genuine curiosity. Become someone who creates understanding for others, and in doing so, you’ll build a world where more people feel they belong.

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Final Thought

We live in a time where the changing demographic of our nation leads some to question who belongs and who doesn’t. This lack of understanding can feel like a cold wind. But remember, a lack of understanding is not a final verdict. It is simply a call for patience, for conversation, and for the quiet courage to keep showing up.

You do not need a special invitation to belong to this world. You are already here. Your voice, your “shade of beautiful,” your unique perspective, they are not additions to the story of our communities; they are essential parts of it.

My journey taught me that belonging isn’t a door that opens from the outside. It is a conviction that takes root within. It is the quiet, unshakable knowledge that you have a right to be here and a purpose to fulfill. And once you know that, no room you enter will ever feel like it doesn’t have a place for you.

With gratitude and the firm belief that you already belong, 🙏
Devon

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